


the bed song

by drashian



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drashian/pseuds/drashian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From bed to bed, their relationship changes. See exhibits A-E.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. exhibit a

**Author's Note:**

> I gave in to the lure of songfic. Normally i'm not a fan of them, but this is really just self-indulgent so I'm making an exception. Song is [the bed song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUVvpircaxo) by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra. I recommend listening to it.

_exhibit a:_   
_we are friends in a sleeping bag_   
_splitting the heat_   
_we have one filthy pillow to share_   
_and your lips are in my hair_   
_someone upstairs has a rat that we laughed at_   
_and people are drinking and singing van halen and slayer_   
_on a ukulele tear_

Philanthropy (well, it wasn't called Philanthropy then, just a couple of guys with a big dream) started in a shitty apartment in Philadelphia. Well, it was more of just a room partitioned from the others with a flimsy wall, but it worked for the moment. Solid Snake, recently called away from the Arctic wasteland by Otacon with the promise of action and something to change the world, sat in a t-shirt and jeans on the mattress, figuring out the logistics of their new partnership. And God knew that both of them had enough sins to atone for to warrant their crusade.

They moved around a lot at first, to the smallest and cheapest rooms possible. Not a lot of money in the business, even with Hal's bank hacking skills. A few trips across the country, but they tried to stick to larger cities for the anonymity. Meeting with informants, chasing down faint leads. Nothing for the longest time, though a few rumours were pointing to Cuba.

They had always slept separately, but in the dead of December they ended up in an unheated one bedroom business in Seattle, curled against each other in a sleeping bag from the grocery store down the street. The apartments up and downstairs were loud, the people rowdy, singing and laughing. Hal and Dave (and it was Hal and Dave this time because curled in the space of one man with two, breathing each other's hair was something for first-name-basis friends) were exhausted, having stayed up all night from their previous eviction and slept, their hands on each other's backs, sharing warmth and air.

And if, in the next apartment, they volunteered to sleep together rather than apart, they wouldn't tell anyone their secret.


	2. exhibit b

_exhibit b:_   
_well, we found an apartment_   
_it’s not much to look at_   
_a futon on a floor_   
_torn off desktop for a door_   
_all the decor’s made of milk crates and duct tape_   
_and if we have sex they can hear us through the floor_   
_but we don’t do that anymore_

Snake woke to dried blood smeared on the mattress below him and sharp pains down his sides. The business was getting heavier, more violent, day by day. He pulled himself up and padded to the bathroom, pulling off gauze and throwing it to the floor as he went. They were getting close, though. Bullets had grazed his sides as he ran off with paper files and a few data discs. Otacon was typing away on the other side of the bedroom.

His wounds newly dressed, he went over to his partner, watching the many windows on the dual monitors flood with text, scroll through images. Too much information; his head swam. Otacon looked up, eyes weary, and smiled. "I'm really getting somewhere with the data you brought me last night. Everything's pointing towards the US Marines." Hal stopped typing and reached up to brush the bandages on Snake's arm. "How are you doing?"

Snake pulled away, just a fraction of an inch from the contact. "Fine."

Hal's hand fell and he looked back at the screens, going back to the work with renewed vigour. Snake returned to the bed, sitting down. His side was smeared in brown blood and rumpled. The other half was cold. Hal had worked through the night.

_and i lay there wondering_   
_what is the matter_   
_is this a matter of worse or of better_   
_you took the blanket so i took the bed sheet_   
_but i would have held you if you’d only_   
_let me_

Hal finally shut down his computers after two days of next to no sleep, satisfied with his results. The USS Discovery would be going into New York Harbour in a few weeks and then they would have the biggest hit in the history of Philanthropy. This would shut it down for sure. Perhaps even discourage worldwide development of Metal Gear technology. Who knows.

He looked down at the futon. Snake was lying there, curled around himself, facing away from the engineer's side of the bed. He picked up the sheet, the blanket being used by Snake, and wrapped it around himself as he lay down. He considered touching David's back, considered curling around him. He only stared at the other man's hair splayed on the pillow and wondered how far a few inches could possibly feel.

They were only friends now. Maybe they should stop sharing beds.


	3. exhibit c

_exhibit c:  
look how quaint and how quiet and private  
our paychecks have bought us a condo in town  
it’s the nicest flat around  
you picked a mattress  
and had it delivered  
and i walked upstairs and the sight of it made my heart pound  
and i wrapped my arms around  
me_

There wasn't any electricity or plumbing or heating, but it was Indian summer and squatting in nice houses always led to better conditions than renting. And it was cheaper. They could feel their way around in the dark.

Hal slowly walked around the house, inspecting every room for possible problems and for what amenities were available. One bedroom. He had almost hoped that they would sleep apart for once, but they had been in this arrangement for how many years? It wasn't worth the change. They could probably fit the three of them—Snake, Hal, Sunny—into this one bed, it was large enough, but maybe they would put Sunny in her sleeping bag if she didn't want to share with them.

He considered more permanent living arrangements for a moment as he unpacked his toiletries into the dark bathroom, watching his barely lit reflection in the mirror. But they needed mobility, they needed flexibility. Especially with the increased pressure of having a very young child with them. His glasses flashed refractions back into his eyes from the sunset light as he leaned over, straightening every object into its usual place.

_and i stood there wondering what is the matter  
is this a matter of worse or of better?  
you walked right past me and straightened the covers  
but i would still love you if you wanted a lover_

Sunny curled up between them, in the end, and Hal lay awake as her quiet, small breaths punctuated the night. He knew Snake was not asleep. It was an hour of waiting until he stood, getting up nearly silently. Hal rolled over, knowing he would not return.

He debated following him, then stood, bare feet on cold faux wood floor sticking with every step. Snake was sitting alone in the living room, the most well-lit room in the night, three-quarter moon illuminating broad strokes of blue light across the floor.

_and you said  
all the money in the world won’t buy a bed so big and wide  
to guarantee that you won’t accidentally touch me in the night_

Hal settled beside him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"Why?"

"Because it's like this now. I know it's not what you want."

Snake slumped forward. "You don't know that."

They both watched the trees through the window move slowly in the lazy breeze.

"Maybe we should stop."


	4. exhibit d

_exhibit d:_   
_now we’re both mostly paralyzed_   
_don’t know how long we’ve been lying here in fear_   
_too afraid to even feel_   
_i find my glasses and you turn the light out_   
_roll off on your side like you’ve rolled away for years_   
_holding back those king-size tears_

Back to back, sleeping a thousand feet above the air on the Nomad. Hardly sleeping when the other was present, heat creeping across the precious inches between them. Trying not to touch, brushing backs and hands nonetheless.

Hal knew that David was relapsing. Never held any illusions that the man didn't suffer from a laundry list of mental imbalances, trauma and genetics-based. He was too aware of it, but it had once been under control. Now he listened as Dave woke every night, shaking, trying to gather that courage to roll over. To ask what was wrong.

Sometimes he wondered if Dave wanted him to ask about it. It wasn't fear of his reaction, even fear of that time he had brushed his shoulder and ended up on the metal grille of the cargo bay, foot on his throat until recognition dawned in Snake's eyes. He was afraid that they would stop whatever was happening between them. That they would sleep separately. But every night, his stomach clenched with guilt before covering himself with a blanket, wishing that it could end without tearing him apart.

_and i still don’t ask you_   
_what is the matter_   
_is this a matter of worse or of better_   
_you take the heart failure i’ll take the cancer_   
_i’ve long stopped wondering why you don’t answer_

Hal still held his hand through every blood test, every biopsy, every result.

They both knew, were always conscious of that deadline. Moping about it wouldn't help. But sometimes Hal let things slip, about doing things differently next year, about the future, about plans for Philanthropy and for Sunny and for their lives. Dave's eyes just went dark, knowing.

None of them pretended not to know where he was going when he left before Meryl's wedding. The bed was cold for the first time in years and Hal almost didn't hear his partner's footsteps approaching the bedside as dawn broke outside the Nomad.


	5. exhibit e

_exhibit e:_   
_you can certainly see_   
_how fulfilling a life from the cost and size of stone_   
_of our final resting home_   
_we got some nice ones right under a cherry tree_   
_you and me lying the only way we know_   
_side by side and still and cold_

They had spent so much time together, in the end. Those who knew them, those who cared enough—Mei Ling, Meryl, Johnny, a few others popping in and out—remembered them together. A unit sale. One implied the other. Seeing them apart was hardly an option.

No one wanted to remember the haunted face of his partner after Snake died, his scared eyes. The voice cracking on the phone as he confessed having woken up next to his still body.

Hal had held on for a few years after, but it wasn't the same. Everyone knew he was just waiting to sleep once again next to his old partner. No one was shocked when the word came, Hal sleeping peacefully, Hal ceasing to take breath, Hal never waking up. He lived alone. It was a day before they realized he was dead.

They were buried next to each other, both of them nameless tombstones for the sake of their identities. Especially the infamous Solid Snake. Their burial site was a closely guarded secret. Each headstone with birth, death dates. Each labeled "Philanthropist".

Sunny didn't talk about those last days, getting a faraway look when people gently asked what it was like. The only information she would relinquish was that, in that last tiny breadth of Snake's life, it seemed like he felt forgiven.

_and i finally ask you_   
_what was the matter_   
_was it a matter of worse or of better_   
_you stretch your arms out_   
_and finally face me_   
_you say_   
_i would have told you_   
_if you’d only asked me_   
_if you’d only asked me_   
_if you’d only asked me_

"Snake?"

The covers rustle. He turns onto his back. "What?"

"What happened between us?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know. Us."

"It just didn't work, I guess." Rustles again. He begins to roll away.

"Why? What was wrong?"

Pause. Hal watches as David rolls to face him, his face furrowed in quiet pain. He looks so young.

"I thought it was you," he whispers.

"But I thought it was you."

He cracks a broken smile. "Why did we waste all of those years, then?"

Hal feels his chest tighten. Wipes a hand across his damp eyes. "Because I guess it was both of us." Half-coughs, half-laughs. "Nothing works out for me, does it?"

David shakes his head. "No, I guess not." He reaches up, brushes Hal's shoulder. "But it's okay."

They curl into each other's arms and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaand it's actually done!! Be on the lookout for more MGS fic; I have a lot of ideas. Heh.


End file.
